Trouillard Blanc de Noir Extra Brut NV is made from 90% Pinot Noir and 10% Pinot Meunier.

Aged "sur lattes" for 2 years

Color: Golden, fine bubbles.
Nose: Deep, vinous with red berries notes
Mouth: Ample. Sugar dosage gives it wilderness. You will be seduced by its stout, its structure and its vinosity. You will be invaded by a sensation of freshness.

This sparkling wine is only vinified with white juice of black grapes hence its name "Blanc de Noirs", which litterally translate to "White from Black". The exact varietal breakdown is 90% Pinot Noir and 10% Pinot Meunier.
It is aged sur lattes, in the bottle, on the lees for 24 months minimum.
Its low sugar dosage makes it an extra dry.

Its full bodied and power features designate it to go with sweetbread, giblet, “bouchée à la reine” and whites meats

Review:

"A blend of grapes from the Aube and the Marne Valley, this ripe wine shows the structure of Pinot Noir. The fruit's richness balances the low dosage to give an almost bone-dry wine that is full, fruity and that could age further in bottle. - ROGER VOSS"

- Wine Enthusiast (December 2019), 91 pts

"Light yellow-bronze hue. Showing toasty lees aromas and a bright, energetic attack, the Blanc de Noirs Extra Brut offers good balance and complexity in a Champagne meant to be consumed with food. Ripe orchard fruit and brioche like flavors show on a plump, rich palate and persist on the finish. 100% Pinot Noir from the Marne and the Aube aged on the lees for 2+ years; 3-4 g/L RS"

- I-WineReview (Champagne: Diversity and Change, January 2020), 91 pts

Turley Cedarman Zinfandel is made from 100 percent Zinfandel. 

Review:

Keenly structured and appealingly briary, this Zin is loaded with jammy blackberry, roasted anise and licorice flavors that build toward broad-shouldered tannins.

-Wine Spectator 93 Points

Weingut Prager Achleiten Riesling Smaragd is made from 100 percent Riesling. 

Franz Prager, co-founder of the Vinea Wachau, had already earned a reputation for his wines when Toni Bodenstein married into the family. Bodenstein’s passion for biodiversity and old terraces, coupled with brilliant winemaking, places Prager in the highest echelon of Austrian producers.

Smaragd is a designation of ripeness for dry wines used exclusively by members of the Vinea Wachau. The wines must have a minimum alcohol of 12.5%. The grapes are hand-harvested, typically in October and November, and are sent directly to press where they spontaneously ferment in stainless-steel tanks.

Achleiten sits east of Weißenkirchen and is one of the most famous vineyards in the Wachau. The steeply-terraced vineyard existed in Roman times. Some sections have just 40 cm of topsoil over the bedrock of Gföler Gneiss, amphibolitic stone, and slate. “Destroyed soil,” as Toni Bodenstein likes to say.

Tasting Notes:

Austrian Riesling is often defined by elevated levels of dry extract thanks to a lengthy ripening period and freshness due to dramatic temperature swings between day and night. Wines from Achleiten’s highly complex soils are famously marked by a mineral note of flint or gun smoke, are intensely flavored, and reliably long-lived.

Food Pairing:

Riesling’s high acidity makes it one of the most versatile wines at the table. Riesling can be used to cut the fattiness of foods such as pork or sausages and can tame some saltiness. Conversely, it can highlight foods such as fish or vegetables in the same way a squeeze of lemon or a vinaigrette might.

Review:

The 2020 Ried Achleiten Riesling Smaragd offers a well-concentrated, fleshy and spicy stone fruit aroma with crunchy and flinty notes. It needs some time to get rid of the stewed fruit flavors, though. Full-bodied, fresh and crystalline, this is an elegant, complex and finely tannic Riesling that needs some years rather than a carafe to polymerize the tannins and gain some finesse. Tasted at the domain in June 2021.

At Prager, I could not determine that 2020 would be inferior to the 2019 vintage; on the contrary, the 2020 Smaragd wines fascinated me enormously in their clear, cool, terroir-tinged way. A 38% loss had occurred mainly because of the hail on August 22, although predominantly in the Federspiel or Riesling vineyards. There was no damage in the top vineyards such as Ried Klaus, Achleiten or Zwerithaler. "Interestingly, the vines are in agony for about two weeks after the hail. There was no more growth, no development of ripeness and sugar," reports Toni Bondenstein. The Veltliner then recovered earlier, while even picking a Riesling Federspiel in October was still a struggle. "Why Riesling reacted more intensively to the hail, I don't know myself either," says Bodenstein. Whole clusters were pressed to preserve acidity and to compensate for the lower extract, and compared to 2019, the 2020s were left on their lees longer. In June, however, the 20s in particular showed outstanding early shape.

-Wine Advocate 94 Points

Light yellow-green, silver reflections. Yellow stone fruit nuances with a mineral underlay, notes of peach and mango, a hint of tangerine zest, mineral touch. Juicy, elegant, white fruit, acidity structure rich in finesse, lemony-salty finish, sure aging potential.

-Falstaff 95 Points

Weingut Prager Stockkultur Achleiten Gruner Veltliner Smaragd is made from 100 percent Gruner Veltliner. 

Franz Prager, co-founder of the Vinea Wachau, had already earned a reputation for his wines when Toni Bodenstein married into the family. Bodenstein’s passion for biodiversity and old terraces, coupled with brilliant winemaking, places Prager in the highest echelon of Austrian producers.

Smaragd is a designation of ripeness for dry wines used exclusively by members of the Vinea Wachau. The wines must have minimum alcohol of 12.5%. The grapes are hand-harvested, typically in October and November, and are sent directly to press where they spontaneously ferment in stainless-steel tanks.

Stockkultur is a 0.3-hectare plot at the top of Achleiten and was purchased by Toni Bodenstein in 2005. The name refers to the old style of training each vine to a single stake; the traditional method of vine cultivation in the Wachau before the 1950s. The vines planted in 1938 are among the oldest in the Wachau. 

Tasting Notes:

Prager’s stylistic signature is that of aromatic complexity coupled with power and tension. High-density planting and long hang times ensure ripe fruit flavors and concentration, yet allowing leaves to shade the fruit lend vibrant aromatics of grasses, herbs, and wildflowers. Minerality is a constant feature of any Prager wine.

Food Pairing:

With minimum alcohol of 12.5%, Grüner Veltliner Smaragd is a concentrated and full-bodied dry white wine. Its intensity of flavor and ripeness of fruit make it ideal with high-integrity ingredients such as seared white fish or sautéed spring vegetables. Grüner Veltliner is a classic accompaniment to Wiener Schnitzel.

Review:

From vines planted in 1937 and picked as the first of the Smaragd wines, the 2020 Ried Achleiten Grüner Veltliner Smaragd Stockkultur (planted with 15,000 vines per hectare) opens with a spectacular deep and complex but refined, fresh and flinty bouquet with intense, ripe pear and biscuit aromas. On the palate, this is a dense and lush yet pure, elegant and complex, wide and powerful but also mineral Achleiten with a long, finely tannic and still sweet finish (due to more than 30 grams per liter of dry extract). Tasted at the domaine in June 2021.

At Prager, I could not determine that 2020 would be inferior to the 2019 vintage; on the contrary, the 2020 Smaragd wines fascinated me enormously in their clear, cool, terroir-tinged way. A 38% loss had occurred mainly because of the hail on August 22, although predominantly in the Federspiel or Riesling vineyards. There was no damage in the top vineyards such as Ried Klaus, Achleiten or Zwerithaler. "Interestingly, the vines are in agony for about two weeks after the hail. There was no more growth, no development of ripeness and sugar," reports Toni Bondenstein. The Veltliner then recovered earlier, while even picking a Riesling Federspiel in October was still a struggle. "Why Riesling reacted more intensively to the hail, I don't know myself either," says Bodenstein. Whole clusters were pressed to preserve acidity and to compensate for the lower extract, and compared to 2019, the 2020s were left on their lees longer. In June, however, the 20s in particular showed outstanding early shape.

-Wine Advocate 96 Points

Franz Prager, co-founder of the Vinea Wachau, had already earned a reputation for his wines when Toni Bodenstein married into the family. Bodenstein’s passion for biodiversity and old terraces, coupled with brilliant winemaking, places Prager in the highest echelon of Austrian producers.

Smaragd is a designation of ripeness for dry wines used exclusively by members of the Vinea Wachau. The wines must have minimum alcohol of 12.5%. The grapes are hand-harvested, typically in October and November, and are sent directly to press where they spontaneously ferment in stainless-steel tanks.

Light greenish yellow, silver reflections. Fine savory, delicate nuances of anise, tobacco notes, delicate yellow fruit, a touch of mango and honey blossom. Full-bodied, juicy white apple fruit, well-integrated, silky acidity structure, finesse and long persistence, saline finish, lingers for minutes, Veltliner at its best.

-Falstaff 99 Points

"The aromas of this old-vine gruner veltliner leap out and shake you to the core. Full-bodied and full of weighty and balanced layers of papayas, mangoes, nectarines, chives, white tea and oranges. Fantastic concentration, giving so much pleasure already, but it will keep blossoming if you give it time. From vines planted in 1907. Sustainable. Drink or hold." 

-James Suckling 98 Points

Weingut Robert Weil Kiedricher Grafenberg Riesling Grosses Gewachs is made from 100 percent Riesling. 

The Robert Weil Kiedrich Grafenberg GG is always at the head of its class. Deep, brooding, powerful aromas of sea salt, ripe lime, lemon curd and jasmine. Bass notes of moist earth. Explosive flavors of pineapple, honey, peach, apple and spearmint. So much fruit, but bone dry. Aristocratic finish.

 A powerful, almost monolithic Riesling, that can stand up to buttered lobster, Eastern scallops, a roast garlic chicken, or just an array of ripe cheeses.

Review:

“This very youthful GG needs some aeration to open up, but with every swirl of the glass more wild herbs, red-fleshed vineyard peaches and exotic floral nuances emerge. Very concentrated, yet cool and focused, with a very precise interplay of tangerine fruit, wet-stone minerality and a hint of oak that echoes down the valleys.”

Founded in 1875, Weingut Robert Weil is considered to be one of the Rheingau’s younger wine estates. It is located in the heart of Kiedrich, a village first documented in the year 950. Kiedrich Turmberg and Kiedrich Gräfenberg, the estate’s top vineyards, are among the finest sites in the Rheingau.

-James Suckling 98 Points

Aalto P.S. Pagos Seleccionados Tinto  is made from 100 percent Tempranillo.

Climatic conditions

The farming year began with a mild autumn and little precipitation. A very dry winter started with -9ºC reaching at the end higher temperatures than normal for that time of the year. Spring and summer characterized by little rain, only some rain showers in July and late August avoided the hydric stress of the vines. The vegetative cycle of the vine developed with big variations of temperatures, alternating warm and atypical low temperatures of 4ºC for mid-June. The ripening of the grapes happened under very good conditions and the harvest started on 24th September 2019.  

Grape origin

100% Tinto Fino (Tempranillo) primarily from very old vines – 60 to 90 years old – from selected plots in La Horra and La Aguilera. The harvest was done by hand, in small boxes of 15 kilos that are thoroughly inspected, bunch by bunch, on the selection table.  

Tasting notes

Review:

Color: dark cherry, Aroma: toasty, spicy, fine cocoa, black fruit, Mouth: tasty, toasty, fine bitterness, ripe tannins

Guia Penin 94 Points

Ancien Pinot Noir Fiddlestix is made from 100 percent Pinot Noir.

The Fiddlestix Vineyard is located in the Sta. Rita Hills AVA, which straddle the Santa Ynez River as it makes its way to the Pacific Ocean. As an East-West oriented valley, opening its mouth to the cool Pacific breezes, the consistent and cooling marine influence is significant. The vineyard is managed and owned in partnership by Kathy Joseph, who has planted an array of clones and rootstocks on several, varied soils to create a staggering level of diversity from this single vineyard. The remarkably consistent weather, characterized by lower highs and higher lows than our North Coast vineyards, conspires with silica-laden, marine sedimentary soils to make wines of power and exceptional structure.

Fiddlestix always presents a bold Pinot Noir with notes of fruit and exotic spice. As the vines have aged, we noticed more and more underlying depth (they now are approaching their 25th vintage). The nose greets with notes of cassis, Indian spice, and hints of incense. Fresh dark fruits lead the palate, and the focus settles on ripe flavors of blackberry and currants spiced with peppercorn/allspice. Velvety and softly chewy tannins emphasize structure, while ever-present acidity balances and brightens. The spicy aromatics and flavors continue through the long finish.

Avennia Arnaut Syrah is made of 100% Syrah

For our taste, no one grows finer Syrah in the state than Dick Boushey. We named this wine after the Provencal Troubadour Arnaut Daniel, who invented the Sestina poem form, thus creating a connection between our two flagship efforts.

"Deep, dark Syrah notes on the nose, with dark blackberry, blueberry reduction, grilled meat, crushed olive, black licorice, camphor, pen ink, and cracked black pepper. The palate is super concentrated and dense, tightly focused, and deeply complex. Savory blueberry, pan drippings, a hint of orange essence, and hand-rubbed sage come through on the extremely long and nuanced finish. A compelling wine that will age for a couple decades at least." - Chris Peterson, Winemaker

We make this wine with minimal manipulation, using native yeasts and bottling unfined and unfiltered, to allow the "place" to shine through.

AVA: Yakima Valley
Blend: 100% Boushey Vineyard Syrah
Winemaking: 15% whole cluster, native yeast, 15% new French oak, aged 16 months, bottled unfined & unfiltered.

Review:

"Licorice, chocolate orange, nutmeg, raspberries and vanilla on the nose. It’s full-bodied with soft, juicy black fruit and spice accompanied by velvety tannins. Creamy, ripe and plush with a lengthy finish. Drink or hold.h"

- James Suckling (March 2023), 93 pts

Babylons Peak Chenin Blanc is made from 100 percent Chenin Blanc.

Babylon's Peak winery, situated on the highest weathered granite slopes of the Paardeberg Mountain, is privately owned by the Basson family who has passed down the tradition, passion and art of winemaking over four generations. Predominantly low-yield dryland bushvines are selected to produce these excellent wines with distinctive character.

The Chenin Blanc grapes were picked from very old dryland bushvine vineyards. The vineyard grows on weathered granite soils, contributing to the flavor of the grapes and mineral character of the wine. Production is limited to 5 tons/ha.
The grapes were harvest by hand at 22.1°B. The grapes were destalked and lightly crushed. Only the first 450 litres free-run juice per ton were fermented in stainless steel tanks at a cold temperature (10-12°C) for 21 days. The wines was left on the fermentation lees until bottling.

A crisp, fresh and fruity Chenin Blanc from low-yield dryland bushvines.

Pairs with salads, seafood, chicken and other light dishes. The perfect wine for every occasion.

Babylons Peak Cinsault is made from 100 percent Cinsault.

Medium to light bodied. Fruit driven with spicy undertones. Soft tannins and fine complexity. A fruit driven wine with lively light palate and lingering mouthfeel.

Review:

"Savory aromas of black olives, grilled meat, thyme, peppercorns and dark fruit. It’s medium-bodied with fine tannins and a flavorful, succulent and peppery palate. Drink now."

- James Suckling (December 2021), 90 pts

Beliere Bugey-Cerdon  is made from 95% Gamay, 5% Poulsard (a local grape from Jura).

Spontaneous fermentation. An altogether preferable scenario to spontaneous combustion, and A LOT more fun to drink. This pink, semi-dry bubbly was made by spontaneous fermentation, otherwise known as methode ancestrale. Grapes are picked by hand (not just any grapes, these are the local Poulsard and Gamay grown on mountainous slopes in the shadow of the Alps), and fermented in chilled vats just reaching 5 or 6 degrees alcohol. The young and light wine is then bottled, along with its active yeast and considerable unfermented sugars. Under pressure of the cork, the wine continues to ferment, gaining a few degrees of alcohol but retaining a nice amount of sweetness. The bubbles, of course, are another result of fermentation under pressure. This one is so delicious and fun to drink, with a distinctly, well, grapy aroma and a fruitiness that calls out for celebration and jubilation. 
This is also wonderful served with chocolate cake! 
8% ABV.

Produced from the "Ancestral method" (also used to produce Clairette de Die): Low temperature fermentation starting in the tank, light filtration that leaves active yeast in the wine, bottling of the wine with fermentation continuing in the bottle ("spontaneous fermentation in the bottle"), retaining some sugar (40 gr/liter at the end). Made from 95% Gamay, 5% Poulsard (a local grape from Jura).

Review:

"Amber color. Aromas and flavors of cranberry juice, rose petal, cherry and kiwi, and red apple with a round, bright, effervescent, fruity medium-to-full body and a delightful, medium-long finish that shows nuances of cherry, cranberry, beeswax, and rose water. Concentrated fruit flavors, creamy bubbles, and well balanced acidity will make this a splendid pairing with charcuterie." - Beverage Testing -Institute (November 2022), 92 pts - Gold Medal

Boussey Aloxe Corton Les Valozieres is made from 100 percent Pinot Noir. 

The Aloxe Corton appellation is located right between the Cotes de Nuits and Cotes de Beaune, at the bottom of the Hill of Corton. The old vines planted in the village of "Valozieres" enjoy a perfect location and a specific terroir made of red/brown colored soils with a few silica veins and silex, limestone components, leading to solid and structured wines.

The wine displays a dark ruby and garnet color. The aromas are classic of the appellation with small red fruits, developping peony, jasmine, leather, truffle aromas with age. A firm structure, rich and chewy tannins, and a great length.

Boussey Monthelie Blanc is made from 100 percent Chardonnay.

The name Monthelie comes from Mont Lyoei, mountain of Bacchus. 

The Boussey Monthelie Blanc has a nice pale yellow color with green reflections.  Aromas of white flowers, fresh almonds, lemon and minerality.  The finish is long with a very good balance between the acidity and the ripeness. 

Goes well with poultry, fish and crab cakes. 

Boussey Savigny les Beaune is made from 100 percent Pinot Noir. 

The grapes for this wine arecoming from 3 different parcels of Savigny les Beaune loctaed in these 3 different lieux-dits: Les Saucours, les Petits Liards and Les Fourches. 

The wine shows aromas of Red fruits with floral notes. It is elegant with a very pleasant long finish. 

Boussey Volnay Premier Cru Les Taillepieds is made from 100 percent Pinot Noir. 

The grapes for this Volnay Premier Cru Les Taillepieds are coming from the vineyard located in the middle of the coteau, halfway up the hill, with a very nice South sun exposure, allowing to reach an optimal ripeness every year. 

The wine displays a nice ruby and garnet color. It boasts aromas of red and black fruit, fig, and violet. 

It always has a lot of finesse and elegance, but also a great length to the finish, with juicy and round tannins. 

Pair with frog legs with parsley and garlic, omelette, duck and cheese. 

Slightly filtered before bottling.The wine is then aged in French Oak barrels for 12 months. (25% new barrels).
The Volnay Premier Cru Les Taillepieds is vinified in temperature controlled stainless steel tanks.
Surface area : 0.2 hectare (0.49 acres)

Montepescini Chianti Colli Senesi  is made from 90% Sangiovese and 10% Canaiolo.

Deep ruby red in the glass with an intense nose holding blackberry and violet notes. On the palate it is rounded and robust with hints of wild berries, dark cherry and spice. This Chianti has excellent acidity and a long and satisfying finish.

Alcohol: 14.0% 

Aging: 8 months in French oak barrels and an additional 3 months in bottle
Vinification: 13 to 15 days of skin contact maceration.
Vineyards: south sun exposure at 350 meters of altitude (1150 feet)
Grapes: 90% Sangiovese and 10% Canaiolo

Pairs well with roasted red and white meats, aged cheeses, dishes with rosemary and garlic or mushrooms.

Le Poste’s cool microclimate and limestone soil make it one of Saint Cosme’s most structured, aromatic, and mineral intense wines of the estate. This wine always walks a knife's edge of power and finesse thanks to its deep fruit and precise structure. The wine features aromas and flavors of iodine, violet, pepper, and ash.

Grenache is the pale-colored, red-fruited, and potpourri-scented red grape variety of the southern Rhône and can be paired with both rustic and sophisticated dishes. Full-bodied Grenache-based wines are ideal with stews, braises, and grilled meats, while lighter versions can work well with dark fish and tomato-based dishes such as ratatouille.

Review:

Deep magenta. Expansive, spice- and mineral-tinged black raspberry, kirsch and boysenberry aromas are complicated by suggestions of incense, lavender and smoky minerals. Alluringly sweet and focused in the mouth, offering densely packed red and blue fruit preserve, floral pastille and exotic spice flavors that smoothly balance weight and finesse. This wine shows superb finishing clarity and mineral lift on the penetrating and impressively long finish, which features polished tannins and resonating fruit, floral and mineral notes.

-Vinous 95-97 Points

Louis Barruol describes the microclimate of the vineyard Malleval as “very cold” which allows the grapes to retain acidity and showcase the floral aromas of the local Sérine variety. Aromas and flavors of blackberries and wild strawberries are accented by notes of peppercorns, tobacco, peonies, and violets.

Syrah, with its deep flavors and firm tannins, is a natural match for grilled or smoked meat and dishes featuring herbs, roasted mushrooms, and onions. Seared venison or beef with black pepper and thyme or a Moroccan tagine of pigeon or chicken are complimented by the spicy characteristic of Syrah. 

Review:

Stacks of dark forest berries plus notes of smoke, pepper and tar make this a very expressive St.-Joseph. Impressive depth and ripeness for the 2021 vintage on the front and mid-palates, then the stony minerality kicks in giving it more power at the sleek and structured finish. Drinkable now, but best from 2024.

-James Suckling 93 Points

IMPORTER SALE!

Blend: Colmant Brut Reserve NV is a blend of Pinot Noir 52%, Chardonnay 48% (Franschhoek, Robertson, Elgin, Somerset-West and Stellenbosch). 10% of the blend is made of reserve wine from the previous vintage and 12% of the base wine is barrel fermented.
Ageing: 28 months minimum on the lees at steady 13°C temperature.
Tasting: A subtle pale gold color with a very clean and elegant nose. The aroma has a gentle spicy toastiness with a lemon / yeasty perfume followed by more mature fruit. Plenty of freshness on the palate, with a good acidity which perfectly balances the yeasty depth, bready flavors and ample structure. Long smooth finish. Will develop nicely over the years.
Drinking tips: Divine as an aperitif and loyal as a party buddy, it also goes perfectly with oysters, sushis or any delicate seafood.

Reviews:

"The Brut Reserve (disgorged April 2018) was 10% fermented in French oak barrel and includes 20% reserve vintages. It spent 30 months on the lees. The well-defined, focused nose features bright citrus lemon and hints of baked bread. The palate is well balanced with a taut, crisp, citric entry. This is vivacious, very pretty and graced with lovely apricot hints on the finish. A superb MCC from Colmant. - Neal Martin"

- Vinous (August 28th 2018), 91 pts

"Fresh with leesy notes, a fine mousse and delicate palate of minerals and green citrus zest, this is a first class New World sparkler. It’s rich enough to enjoy on its own or with white meats. It’s a 50/50 blend of Pinot Noir and Chardonnay aged on the lees for 30 months and 25% reserve wines from earlier vintages."
-International Wine Review, 91 pts

"Disgorged February 2011, the Non-vintage Brut Reserve is a blend of 52% Pinot Noir and 48% Chardonnay based on the 2008 vintages blended with reserve wines from 2007 and 2006 (25% of the blend), aged for 30 months on the lees. It has a very fine pettillance in the glass. The nose is very well defined with crushed stone, oyster shell and the subtle perfume of fine lees coming through with aeration. The palate is very crisp and lively on the entry with vibrant acidity, a citrus thread from start to finish, and though it is not a powerful Cap Classique, it is wonderfully poised with great persistence on the fresh lime and Granny Smith-tinged finish.
There are many alternatives to Champagne, and South Africa is no exception with some fine “Method Cap Classique.” Jean-Philippe Colmant hired winemaker Nicolas Follet to create a small range of impressive sparkling wines; they eschew malolactic fermentation and practice extended lees aging."
- eRobertParker.com  , 92 pts

Our Hunt for Colmant:

 It was day 6 in South Africa and we find ourselves outside of beautiful Cape Town, in the country near the Riebeek Kasteel area in Swartland.  Let's talk a little about my accommodations before I tell you about this amazing bubbly. We arrive at the one and only hotel in Riebeek to find out that there were not enough rooms open for all. 

We reached out to our contact at Riebeek cellars, who we will refer to as "Point Break" from now on. For those of you that have not seen the movie Point Break, this guy looked and sounded like a blonde Keanu Reeves with a Dutch accent. Anyway, Point Break tells me that they have secured a small bed and breakfast that we could use for the overflow. Sounded nice...so I opted for it. 

Upon arrival, the home was beautiful on the outside with a catchy French name, "Shades of Provence". After Point Break fiddled with the skeleton key and lock for a good 35 minutes in the rain, we finally get to see the inside of our new home. The door opened straight into the kitchen where the first thing I noticed was the mouse sh*t all over the place. It was winter there and the mice were trying to stay warm, I'm sure. Little did they know this damn place had no heat.

Besides myself and my fiancee Sylvia, there were 3 other people and a total of four rooms. At this point I knew I better drag both our suitcases up those steps and get to the best room before everyone else. At stroke-causing speed, I skipped up the steps nearly knocking Point Break on his back and went through the rooms. I settled for a nice corner room with the least amount of dirt on the concrete floor and with only one or two spider webs on the wrought iron bed post.

For dinner that night, we returned to the hotel restaurant to join the rest of our group. The 5 of us forced to stay in the bed and breakfast were in a far worse mood than everyone around us. Arriving late, we sat at the end of the dinning table and hoarded as much wine as possible to try and drink ourselves to a point where we could sleep in that disgrace of a French country side home that Point Break secured for us.

 That night, I slept with the lights on, all my clothes on, and on top of the sheets hoping to avoid spider bites. I awoke that morning to Sylvia standing over me holding what looked like a hot water knob off of the shower. "It wasn't even attached.", she said. Sylvia proceeds to take a "whore-bath" in the sink using her own packed sock as a wash cloth. It was the only thing she deemed clean. To top it off, in a brief moment of happiness she finds a hair dryer in a cabinet. She pulled it out in triumph only to realize that there was a used condom stuck to the side of it. Obviously, this is her last trip to South Africa.