Made from 50% chenin blanc and 50% chardonnay

It is an interesting experience as a sparkling wine for people who want to have a fine and elegant wine comparable to Champagne for a very good price.

This methode traditionnelle sparkling wine is aged for minimum 18-24 months in cave before disgorging. The dosage is 12 g/l residual sugar and the wine is aged for minimum 3 months after disgorging .

Review:

"The two sparkling wines should not be missed. They're both terrific examples of how good sparkling Vouvray can be. Both are 100% Chenin Blanc cuvees. Even better is the slightly richer, more honey and lemon-scented and flavored non-vintage Cremant de Loire. A blend of equal parts Chenin Blanc and Chardonnay aged for a minimum of 18 to 24 months in their cellars before disgorgement, this is a real beauty and a superb wine. Unfortunately, just under 100 cases are imported to the United States." -Wine Advocate 92 pts

Alain de la Treille Symphonie Cremant de Loire Brut is made from 90% Chenin Blanc and 10% Orbois (also known as Arbois or Menu Pineau)

The wines of Alain de la Treille reflect their vineyard of origin and are produced following the estate's unique guidelines: a strict selection of terroirs and vines, elaboration according to the traditional method and long maturation “sur lattes” in order to obtain the purest and most elegant expression of the Loire terroirs.

Baron Aime Cremant de Bourgogne Brut Rose NV is made from  85% Pinot Noir & 15% Chardonnay.

Light pink color with coppery shades. The citrus notes blend subtly with aromas of strawberry, forming a fresh and delicate bouquet. The palate is lively, with notes of grapefruit and fresh bread. Together they form a rich, fresh and vibrant wine.

Review:

"Steely amber color. Aromas and flavors of strawberry, green apple, toasted oats, and creme fraiche with a satiny, lively, finely carbonated, dry light-to-medium body and a tingling, intricate, medium-length finish that presents overtones of slightly under ripe wild strawberries, apricot, warm bread dough, and lemon zest. Lively and bright for a perfect apéritif yet with just enough richness and body to carry you in seamlessly to the first course."

- Beverage Testing Institute (November 2022), 94 pts - GOLD MEDAL - BEST BUY

Produced from 100% Chenin Blanc planted on clay and flint stones based soils.
Vinification: aged in stainless steel tanks with temperature controlled fermentation. Aged on the lees for 4 months. 
Kieselguhr filtration.
This sparking wine is fresh and fruity. Rich and easy to drink, which makes it a wonderful aperitif. For the aficionados this is an excellent food friendly wine. Its quality makes it a great alternative to Champagne.

"The two sparkling wines should not be missed. They’re both terrific examples of how good sparkling Vouvray can be. Both are 100% Chenin Blanc cuvees, with the non-vintage Chateau Gaudrelle Vouvray Brut showing lots of effervescence and plenty of flowery brioche, buttered citrus, melon and dried apricot notes. It is crisp, fresh, and ideal for drinking over the next several years."
-Wine Advocate 90 pts

"Just off-dry, this almond- and apple-flavored wine achieves a fine balance of crispness and richness. There is just a touch of honey, intertwined with delicious citrusy acidity."
- Wine Enthusiast , 90 pts

Crown Point Estate Selection is made from 75% Cabernet Sauvignon, 10% Merlot, 6% Petit Verdot, 6% Cabernet Franc, 3% Malbec.

The 2016 Crown Point Estate Selection exhibits a heady aromatic array of baking spices, ripe red and black fruits, with deep intonations of earth and minerals. The palate is elegant and bright, with appealing acids and nuanced notes of savory mocha and dried herbs. Polished and seamless, the tannins finish with a comet-like trail of textural opulence highlighted by glossy flavors of baked berry pie and warm toast. Recommended drinking window: now through 2030s.The 2016 Estate Selection is representative of all five red Bordeaux varieties. The selection process starts in the vineyard and continues on through the winemaking process: only the best lots make the final blend. All blocks were harvested & fermented separately. The individual components were blended after 12 months in barrel. Total time in 225 liter French oak barrels was 26 months.

Review:

Deeply colored, the 2016 Estate Selection checks in as 75% Cabernet Sauvignon, 10% Merlot, 6% Petit Verdot, 6% Cabernet Franc, 3% Malbec that was brought up 26 months in 75% new French oak. Deeply colored, it has a smoking good bouquet of crème de cassis, smoke tobacco, lead pencil, camphor, and hints of chocolate. This gives way to a powerful, opulent Cabernet Sauvignon that has plenty of sweet tannins, a layered, multi-dimensional texture, no hard edges, and an awesome finish. I’d happily put this beauty in a lineup of top Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon and blends.

-Wine Enthusiast 97 Points

There’s an impressive amount of complexity on the nose of this bottling by winemaker Adam Henkel, from crushed graphite and concentrated black strawberry to cinnamon pastry, licorice and a brush of herbs. The sip is intense, with leathery but chiseled tannins presenting flavors of charred black currant, licorice, black olive, dried flower and white pepper

-Jeb Dunnuck 97 Points

Domaine Sipp Mack Alsace Pinot Gris Grand Cru Rosacker is made from 100 percent Grand Cru Pinot Gris. 

Rigor and diligence were the key words for this emotional 2016 vintage!

The year starts with heavy rainfall and low temperatures, severely delaying the growing cycle. The month of May sees temperatures increase and the tropical atmosphere favors the development of mildew. Finally, the dry and sunny summer allowed our heavy soils to avoid maturity blockages linked to water stress. The 2016 harvest started in early September and ended 7 weeks later, a record!
In the cellar, the sanitary condition was very good, the wines developed freshness, complexity and fine, ripe acidity.

SITUATION

Fresh notes of mango and peach, enhanced by a sweet sensation, dominate the palate. The finish is long thanks to a lively acidity. It will go perfectly with white meats, firm fish and cheeses with character.

Review:

Ripe, pristine notes of yellow pear on this wine's nose come with notions of creamy banana and vanilla. The palate carries rich, concentrated fruit, but in a precise fashion that channels the rounded ripeness into smooth generosity. A vein of freshness and smidge of sweetness give the fruit staying power and verve. Together they present an off-dry wine with immense potential and elegance. Drink by 2045.

-Wine Enthusiast 94 Points

G.D. Vajra Bricco Delle Viole Barolo is made from 100 percent Nebbiolo. 

The Barolo Bricco delle Viole shows the signature verticality of its vineyard. The wine is beautifully layered and - while restrained as it’s always the case in the youth of Bricco delle Viole - it also shows a complexity of layers with purple flowers, sweet spices and mineral tones. The palate is noble, with a refined acid spine and profound tannins that promise a long aging potential.

Among the historical vineyards of Barolo, Bricco delle Viole is the highest and the closest to the Alps. It rises from 400 to 480 meters above sea level, on the Western ridge of the village. Its name, “Hill of Violets”, originates from the flowers that blossom early here due to the perfect south exposure. Up above the fogs, Bricco delle Viole enjoys the earliest sunrise and the last sunset every day. Thanks to its vines dating back to 1949 and -now- 1931, a dramatic diuturnal temperature range and this pure light, Bricco delle Viole generates a sophisticated and profound Barolo DOCG of bright aromatics, chiseled tannins and subtle minerality. 2018 is a vintage that shows many nuances of Bricco delle Viole: beyond the signature verticality of this site, the wine offers high tones laced with mineral nuances and plenty of energy and youth.

 Review:

The 2018 Barolo Bricco delle Viole is not super intense, but it is balanced in its own way. The wine is subdued but complete with softly yielding tannins to support an elegantly streamlined mouthfeel. Bricco delle Viole is a high and cool growing site in Barolo at 400 to 480 meters in elevation with characteristic Sant'Agata marl soils with fossils. The wine represents a selection of fruit from over seven hectares. With fermentation in steel tank and aging in large Slavonian oak, you are invited to a silky, lifted and beautifully delicate experience with an accessible personality.

-Wine Advocate 95 Points

- Wine Spectator 95 Points

Wolfberger Cremant d Alsace Brut NV is made with 90 % Pinot Blanc, 10% Pinot Auxerrois.

The production of sparkling wine was already known in Alsace in the early 1900's. The Appellation d’Origine Contrôlée (A.O.C.) Crémant d’Alsace began with an official decree in August 1976.
 
Pale golden color. Fine, persistent bubbles. Floral nose with a hint of spiciness, gentle fruitiness (peach, apricot), and lovely balance. Fruity and lively in the palate, it has a clean and crisp finish. This wine will suit any special occasion.

Review:

""Straw color. Bright, fruity, creamy aromas of green apple pastry, peaches in cream, and lemon chiffon with a supple, tangy, finely carbonated, dry-yet-fruity medium body and an effortless, amusing, medium-long white nuts, lime-pineapple sorbet, and minerals finish with no oak. A refreshing, tangy sparkling wine that will shine at the table."
-Beverage Testing Institute, 94 pts (Exceptional)

Colmant Brut Chardonnay is made from 100 percent Chardonnay (Franschhoek and Robertson). 
15% of the base wine has been barrel fermented.
Ageing: This wine spends a minimum of 45 months on the lees at a consistent temperature of 14C before degorgement.
Tasting: Delicate light gold color with a lime-green hue. The nose is fresh, lemony and floral with notes of green apple, followed by yeasty and biscuity aromas brought by the lengthy maturation on the lees. Very fine bead of bubbles with a persistent mousse. Opulent on the palate, this wine shows a harmonious balance between fresh zestiness, mineral complexity and a warm breadth of leesy creaminess. It promises to develop great texture over time. 
Drinking tips: Ideal with pan fried scallops or line fish "au beurre blanc", it is also the oyster's best friend and will enhance the flavors of parmesan, asparagus, artichokes, parma ham,… 

Reviews:

"The core of this wine, which subsequently spent 52 months on lees, comes from the 2015 vintage and shows the ageing potential for which Colmant bubblies are famous. Savoury, fresh and intense, with plenty of colour, added complexity from reserve material, notes of aniseed and citrus peel and a fine, refreshing finish. 2021-25"

- Tim Atkin (South Africa 2020 Report), 93 pts

There are many alternatives to Champagne, and South Africa is no exception with some fine “Method Cap Classique.” Jean-Philippe Colmant hired winemaker Nicolas Follet to create a small range of impressive sparkling wines; they eschew malolactic fermentation and practice extended lees aging.- NM" 

- eRobertParker.com (Issue #196, August 2011), 92 pts

A blanc de blanc with the heart of Chardonnay, the NV Brut Chardonnay has focused citrus tones on the nose with notes of yellow pear and green apple. The oak is subtle here, with a solid beam of acidity through the mid-palate. The wine is thoughtful and focused, and the finish leaves my mouth watering; there is serious acidity here, and they are doing it right. Colmant is the little guy doing some really great things— quietly focused wines, with serious aging potential. Keep this small producer on your radar. I expect nothing but great things in years to come from JP Colmant and his new winemaker, Paul Gerber, formerly of Le Lude. - Anthony Mueller"

- Robert Parker's Wine Advocate (Issue #245, October 2019), 91+ pts

"Our favorite Colmant sparkler by far, this blanc de blancs would easily pass for good quality Champagne. It’s pale straw with a fine bead with biscuit and lemon aromas. Very flavorful and complex on a rich palate with a persistent finish, it’s 100% Chardonnay, 15% barrel fermented, and spends 4 years on the lees. RS 5 g/L"
- I-WineReview  92 pts

Baron Aime Cremant de Bourgogne Brut is made from 40% Chardonnay, 30% Pinot Noir, 30% Aligote.

Light yellow with bright reflections. The nose is fresh and lemony with subtle floral aromas, apple and citrus fruits. The mouth is fresh, delicate, tight and precise with fine bubbles that stimulate the palate nicely.

A delicious aperitif and a great match with shellfish.

Review:

Golden straw color. Aromas and flavors of brioche, green and yellow apple, dried pineapple, and lemon oil with a supple, vibrant, finely carbonated, dry medium body and a smooth, engaging, medium-long finish displaying impressions of croissant with salted butter and tart pear jam, white tea, and grapefruit peel with no oak flavor. A lovely and racy apéritif that will pair splendidly with a cheese and bread course."

- Beverage Testing Institute (November 2022), 93 pts - GOLD MEDAL - BEST BUY

Bodegas Alto Moncayo Aquilon Garnacha is made from 100% Garnacha.

The wines of Alto Moncayo are crafted to express the unique terroir of windswept high elevation Campo de Borja DO; and to serve as a benchmark for world class Old Vine Garnacha.

Aquilón is "The jewel in the Crown" a selection of the best barrels from the best lots. The vines are 60-100 years old.

Review:

This garnet-colored wine offers aromas of black currant, black raspberry and black licorice, with just a touch of charcuterie. The fruit flavors shine through with subtle notes of crushed violet. It has soft tannic structure, with a pleasant bit of grippiness in the post palate as it leads up to the long, long, finish.

-Wine Enthusiast 95 Points

About the Vineyard

Vineyards in Tabuenca and Borja, planted with indegenous clones of Garnacha starting in the 1920s.

Wine Production

The selected highest quality grapes are placed into small stainless-steel tanks of 7 tons capacity. The must is basket pressed and fermentation is finished in new French and American oak where it complets the malolactic fermentation. Wine is aged in the barrels for 24 months before bottling.

Tasting Notes

Appearance: Very deep red, scarlet rim

Aroma: Minerals and vanilla. Hints of raisins and dark Chocolate

Palate: As typical of the vintage, power and intensity with disarming elegance.

Food Pairing:

Goes well with beef, pork, game based stews and rice dishes.

Jean Chartron Clos de la Pucelle Puligny-Montrachet Premier Cru is made from 100 percent Chardonnay. 

The scent of flowering linden and acacia trees provides a heady nose to this wine. Initial flavours are charming, suggesting vanilla-based patisseries. The mineral backbone of the wine only suggests itself in the slightest hint of salinity. A wine to be patient with and preserve.

Review:

The 2021 Puligny-Montrachet Clos de la Pucelle Ter Cru, which is half the normal yield, spors a very subtle reduction on the nose, but there is fine delineation and focus here. The palate is well balanced with gaod weight, lime mixed with tangerine and nectarine, crisp acidity with a lightly spiced finish. There i real nobility evident here. 

-Vinous 92-94 Points

La Ronciere Selva Oscura Sparkling Extra Brut is made from 60% Pinot Noir, 40% Chardonnay.

Selva Oscura was born to further complement La Ronciere’s cold-climate wine program. Only early, thin-skinned varieties such as Chardonnay and Pinot Noir can ripen in the cold, rainy Araucanía Province. Grape maturity often comes with great difficulty, but the resulting wines reach the bottle with intense freshness and vibrant aromas. Planted in volcanic soils and surrounded by ancient forests, this is a place where vines have developed under adversity and grown to deliver unique wines, with inspiring character and personality.

Review:

96 points -Tim Atkin MW

The Grade Napa Cabernet Sauvignon Winfield Vineyard is made from Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon.

“2016 produced wines that are very giving, round, coating and streamlined. Year after this year, this bottling aims to highlight the best attributes of the Winfield Vineyard, and also creates a wine that possesses qualities that allow it to age well in the cellar and evolve over many years.

“This wine expresses a focused balancing act of dark, rich black fruit, and a fine tannin structure, illuminated through the core with a laser-like acidity. The wine displays a deep purple-red hue with a cranberry halo. Aromas of cassis, cinnamon, citrus oil, roasted meat, and lilac swell from the glass.

“The palate is marked by a wave of jet-black brambly fruit up front, followed by an exotic spice mid-palate and a long, complex finish that lasts and lasts expressing notes of flowering jasmine, and oolong tea. The silky tannins hold everything together and will certainly allow this wine to evolve in the cellar for at least 7-10 years.”  - Thomas River Brown

Review:

Coming from the Winfield Vineyard in Calistoga, the 2016 Cabernet Sauvignon is another brilliant wine from the hands of winemaker Thomas Rivers Brown. This deep purple-colored effort boasts tons of blueberry and jammy blackberry fruits as well a medium to full-bodied, concentrated, yet elegant style on the palate. It has the purity of fruit that’s the hallmark of the vintage, ripe, sweet tannins, and no hard edges, and is already hard to resist.

-Jeb Dunnuck 94 Points

The Grade Napa Cabernet Sauvignon Winfield Vineyard is made from Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon.

“2016 produced wines that are very giving, round, coating and streamlined. Year after this year, this bottling aims to highlight the best attributes of the Winfield Vineyard, and also creates a wine that possesses qualities that allow it to age well in the cellar and evolve over many years.

“This wine expresses a focused balancing act of dark, rich black fruit, and a fine tannin structure, illuminated through the core with a laser-like acidity. The wine displays a deep purple-red hue with a cranberry halo. Aromas of cassis, cinnamon, citrus oil, roasted meat, and lilac swell from the glass.

“The palate is marked by a wave of jet-black brambly fruit up front, followed by an exotic spice mid-palate and a long, complex finish that lasts and lasts expressing notes of flowering jasmine, and oolong tea. The silky tannins hold everything together and will certainly allow this wine to evolve in the cellar for at least 7-10 years.”  - Thomas River Brown

Review:

Coming from the Winfield Vineyard in Calistoga, the 2016 Cabernet Sauvignon is another brilliant wine from the hands of winemaker Thomas Rivers Brown. This deep purple-colored effort boasts tons of blueberry and jammy blackberry fruits as well a medium to full-bodied, concentrated, yet elegant style on the palate. It has the purity of fruit that’s the hallmark of the vintage, ripe, sweet tannins, and no hard edges, and is already hard to resist.

-Jeb Dunnuck 94 Points

Chavy-Chouet Cremant de Bourgogne is made from 7 year old Chardonnay grapes in Puligny-Montrachet.

18 months in barrels and on laths

It is a pure and elegant wine with balanced structure and a very low dosage. Intense aromas of citrus fruits, apple, apricot and white peaches, fine bubbles. Apple and Asian pear flavors, a round mouthfeel and a clean finish.

Pairs well with Cassoulet, Ceviche, Crab Soufflé.

Review:

"Pale yellow. Shows aromas of cooked apple with citrus notes. Clean and crisp on the attack, it’s full in the mouth with good freshness and effervescence on a refined, mineral driven palate. Dry but long on the finish with lingering hints of apple and oyster shells. Made from 7 year old Chardonnay grapes grown in Puligny-Montrachet and aged 18 months in barrel. This family winery is now in its 7 generation."

- International Wine Review (Champagnes & Sparkling Wines for the Holidays: The Best of 2018), 91 pts

- Wine & Spirits Magazine (August 2021), 92 pts

Mt Brave Malbec is made from 100 percent Malbec.

On the Palate of the 2016 Mt. Brave Malbec killer spice overlays rich boysenberry and black currants. A pop of fruit carries across to the finish which is clearly mountain structure based.

Review:

The 2016 Malbec Mt. Veeder is another fabulous wine from winemaker Chris Carpenter. It offers a vibrant, focused, savory style in its blue fruits, graphite, and lead pencil aromatics, and has a concentrated, layered style on the palate. It’s a complex, age-worthy Malbec that will evolve for over a decade.
-Jeb Dunnuck 96 Points

The 2016 Malbec Mt. Veeder (100% Malbec) is very deep purple-black in color and reveals stunning black and red cherries, black plums and violets with wafts of unsmoked cigars and mossy bark. Full, concentrated and seductive in the mouth, it has a solid line of fine-grained tannins and loads of bold, perfumed fruit, finishing long. 484 cases produced.

-Wine Advocate 95 Points

This shows a vivid boysenberry and blackberry fruit profile, laced with licorice, roasted apple wood and violet notes, all backed by a solidly grippy structure and a late zing of minerality. Best from 2021 through 2038. 6,441 cases made. 

-Wine Spectator 94 Points

Wolfberger Cremant d'Alsace Chardonnay NV is made with 100 percent Chardonnay. 

The production of sparkling wine was already known in Alsace in the early 1900's. The Appellation d’Origine Contrôlée (A.O.C.) Crémant d’Alsace began with an official decree in August 1976.

Adorned with a beautiful dress of a brilliant golden yellow with green tints characteristic of the Chardonnay grape, this creamy reveals a fine and elegant cord of foam. The nose is expressive with light notes of toasted brioche. After a frank attack, the mouth is fresh thanks to a good balance sugar-acid. The feeling of fullness is supported by elegant flavors of almond and vanilla.

Wolfberger Cremant d Alsace Rose Brut is 100 % Pinot Noir. 

The wines from Alsace date back to 589 A.D., but Cremant d’Alsace has more recent beginnings, starting in 1900.  Dopff au Moulin (founded in 1574) was the first to produce Cremant d’Alsace in the Method Champenoise style.  Cremant d’Alsace received AOC status for sparkling wine in 1976.  Two types of Cremant are produced today, resulting in about 2.5 million+ cases of Cremant d’Alsace production annually:

• Cremant d’Alsace, Brut – represents the majority of Cremant d' Alsace production. Uses Pinot Blanc, Pinot Gris, Pinot Noir, Riesling, Auxerrois, and Chardonnay.

• Cremant d’Alsace, Brut Rosé – much rarer, as it is 100% Pinot Noir only.

Wolfberger's Cremant d'Alsace Rose Brut displays a lovely delicate salmon color with active, small bubbles. Round and full-bodied, this Cremant Rose displays beautiful watermelon and strawberry aromas cascading in a smooth finish. A minimum of 15 months bottle aging before disgorging ensures ripeness.

IMPORTER SALE!

Blend: Colmant Brut Reserve NV is a blend of Pinot Noir 52%, Chardonnay 48% (Franschhoek, Robertson, Elgin, Somerset-West and Stellenbosch). 10% of the blend is made of reserve wine from the previous vintage and 12% of the base wine is barrel fermented.
Ageing: 28 months minimum on the lees at steady 13°C temperature.
Tasting: A subtle pale gold color with a very clean and elegant nose. The aroma has a gentle spicy toastiness with a lemon / yeasty perfume followed by more mature fruit. Plenty of freshness on the palate, with a good acidity which perfectly balances the yeasty depth, bready flavors and ample structure. Long smooth finish. Will develop nicely over the years.
Drinking tips: Divine as an aperitif and loyal as a party buddy, it also goes perfectly with oysters, sushis or any delicate seafood.

Reviews:

"The Brut Reserve (disgorged April 2018) was 10% fermented in French oak barrel and includes 20% reserve vintages. It spent 30 months on the lees. The well-defined, focused nose features bright citrus lemon and hints of baked bread. The palate is well balanced with a taut, crisp, citric entry. This is vivacious, very pretty and graced with lovely apricot hints on the finish. A superb MCC from Colmant. - Neal Martin"

- Vinous (August 28th 2018), 91 pts

"Fresh with leesy notes, a fine mousse and delicate palate of minerals and green citrus zest, this is a first class New World sparkler. It’s rich enough to enjoy on its own or with white meats. It’s a 50/50 blend of Pinot Noir and Chardonnay aged on the lees for 30 months and 25% reserve wines from earlier vintages."
-International Wine Review, 91 pts

"Disgorged February 2011, the Non-vintage Brut Reserve is a blend of 52% Pinot Noir and 48% Chardonnay based on the 2008 vintages blended with reserve wines from 2007 and 2006 (25% of the blend), aged for 30 months on the lees. It has a very fine pettillance in the glass. The nose is very well defined with crushed stone, oyster shell and the subtle perfume of fine lees coming through with aeration. The palate is very crisp and lively on the entry with vibrant acidity, a citrus thread from start to finish, and though it is not a powerful Cap Classique, it is wonderfully poised with great persistence on the fresh lime and Granny Smith-tinged finish.
There are many alternatives to Champagne, and South Africa is no exception with some fine “Method Cap Classique.” Jean-Philippe Colmant hired winemaker Nicolas Follet to create a small range of impressive sparkling wines; they eschew malolactic fermentation and practice extended lees aging."
- eRobertParker.com  , 92 pts

Our Hunt for Colmant:

 It was day 6 in South Africa and we find ourselves outside of beautiful Cape Town, in the country near the Riebeek Kasteel area in Swartland.  Let's talk a little about my accommodations before I tell you about this amazing bubbly. We arrive at the one and only hotel in Riebeek to find out that there were not enough rooms open for all. 

We reached out to our contact at Riebeek cellars, who we will refer to as "Point Break" from now on. For those of you that have not seen the movie Point Break, this guy looked and sounded like a blonde Keanu Reeves with a Dutch accent. Anyway, Point Break tells me that they have secured a small bed and breakfast that we could use for the overflow. Sounded nice...so I opted for it. 

Upon arrival, the home was beautiful on the outside with a catchy French name, "Shades of Provence". After Point Break fiddled with the skeleton key and lock for a good 35 minutes in the rain, we finally get to see the inside of our new home. The door opened straight into the kitchen where the first thing I noticed was the mouse sh*t all over the place. It was winter there and the mice were trying to stay warm, I'm sure. Little did they know this damn place had no heat.

Besides myself and my fiancee Sylvia, there were 3 other people and a total of four rooms. At this point I knew I better drag both our suitcases up those steps and get to the best room before everyone else. At stroke-causing speed, I skipped up the steps nearly knocking Point Break on his back and went through the rooms. I settled for a nice corner room with the least amount of dirt on the concrete floor and with only one or two spider webs on the wrought iron bed post.

For dinner that night, we returned to the hotel restaurant to join the rest of our group. The 5 of us forced to stay in the bed and breakfast were in a far worse mood than everyone around us. Arriving late, we sat at the end of the dinning table and hoarded as much wine as possible to try and drink ourselves to a point where we could sleep in that disgrace of a French country side home that Point Break secured for us.

 That night, I slept with the lights on, all my clothes on, and on top of the sheets hoping to avoid spider bites. I awoke that morning to Sylvia standing over me holding what looked like a hot water knob off of the shower. "It wasn't even attached.", she said. Sylvia proceeds to take a "whore-bath" in the sink using her own packed sock as a wash cloth. It was the only thing she deemed clean. To top it off, in a brief moment of happiness she finds a hair dryer in a cabinet. She pulled it out in triumph only to realize that there was a used condom stuck to the side of it. Obviously, this is her last trip to South Africa.