Laurent-Perrier Brut Millesime is made from 50% Chardonnay, 50% Pinot Noir.

The Vintage is the choice of an exceptional year from which only a selection of the Chardonnay and Pinot Noir Grands Crus will enter into a future iteration of Grand Siècle. It is a rare and outstanding wine that expresses the character of the year in the Laurent-Perrier style. The wine is white gold in color with a fine sparkle. A flowery nose of great complexity, with notes of citrus and white peaches. A wine that is very present with a lively attack and great finesse with good minerality and notes of grapefruit on the finish. The Vintage 2012 pairs well with seafood and noble fish as well as with poultry or veal. This wine sublimates hard pressed cheeses such as a young Comté or a Beaufort.

Review:

The 2012 Champagne Brut is equal parts Chardonnay and Pinot Noir and has 8 grams per liter dosage. Since the 1950s, only 30 vintages have been produced by the house. The aromatics are reminiscent of a Burgundian feel, with pleasant flinty reduction, smoke, and vibrant green fruits of pear and citrus blossoms. Offering an energetic mousse with green apple, yellow plum, lemon curd, and wet stone, this wine is well-balanced and should continue to improve over the coming 15-20 years. Best after 2022.

-Jeb Dunnuck 94 Points

Elegant array of lemons, slate, biscuits, oyster shells, croissants and brioche. Precise and focused on the palate, with sharp acidity and tight, fine bubbles. Pure and youthful for now. 50% chardonnay and 50% pinot noir. Dosage 8g/L.

- -James Suckling 94 Points

Laurent-Perrier Cuvee Rose NV is made Pinot Noir from 10 crus in the Montagne de Reims

The Cuvée Rosé from Laurent-Perrier is the most recognized rosé champagne in the world. The house uses its proprietary maceration technique and the wine is crafted for a fragrance and not mixed for a color. Held in an elegant bottle inspired by King Henri IV, it has been widely acknowledged for its consistent high quality for more than 40 years, and it is the benchmark for rosé champagne around the world. 

Laurent-Perrier Cuvée Rosé is truly remarkable for its highly expressive bouquet, stemming from very careful preservation of fresh fruit aromas during the wine making. Made with 100% Pinot Noir from 10 different "crus " (or villages), from the North and South areas of the Montagne de Reims, as well as the famous village of Bouzy. Grapes from carefully selected plots are meticulously sorted and de-stemmed before going into the vats, and the controlled maceration helps with the color extraction and the development of the full aromatic richness of the Pinot Noir. 

Intensely fruity flavors, clean and slightly sharp, the wine opens to the sensation of freshly picked red berries: strawberries, Morello cherries, black currants and raspberries. The finish is supple and rounded. 

Its aromatic depth makes it ideal for pairing with marinated raw fish, grilled prawns, exotic dishes, Parma ham and red fruit desserts. Those who are more daring will try it with Asian or Indian cuisine.

Review:

Ethereal floral and raspberry nose. A vinous palate with a mild mousse, the soft texture all wrapped in spice, nuts, smoke and a superior berry tincture. Very long and easy to enjoy.

-Decanter 95 Points

Lodovico Barolo Cannubi is made from 100% Nebbiolo.

With a ruby-red color, the Barolo Cannubi has a rich bouquet which gradually recalls the scents of roses flowers, truffles and wood spice. The palate is at first elegant and refined, then is begins to gain in complexity with a little breathing or decanting.

Vine: Nebbiolo, sub-variety Lampia and Michet

Grapes provenance: Cannubi Boschis vineyard in the village of Barolo
Soil: composed mainly of large clayey limestone marls and sands
Vineyards: South-est facing with Guyot pruning (6-8 buds / vine)
N° Vines / hectare: 5000
Yield / hectare: 50-55 q / Ha
Plant year: 1970
Size of the vineyard: 1.3 hectare (3.21 acres) in the family since 1996 out of 40 hectares (98.8 acres) total for Cannubi. 
Average height: 250-260 mt

Nebbiolo is a native black grape variety of Piedmont that gives birth also Barolo and Barbaresco. The name ‘Nebbiolo’ derives from the word ‘fog’ and there could be two reasons. The first hypothesis traces the name of Nebbiolo back to the obscured, almost clouded appearance of the grape, covered with abundant bloom. The second hypothesis, more suggestive, is linked to the very late ripening of the grapes: the Nebbiolo grape harvest often takes place in late October, when the vineyards are enveloped in morning mists.

Pairs with aged cheeses, red meat, rich/earthy dishes, truffle risotto, pasta with sausages and mushrooms. Braised or roasted meats.

Mas Redonne Bandol Rose is made from 55% Mourvèdre, 35% Cinsault, 10% Grenache.

Nice light salmon color, typical of Bandol.
The wine expresses some citrus, Pomelos (a delicious type of grapefruit) and lots of white fruit aromas and minerality.
The flavors are fresh, fruity and very aromatic with tons of apricot and mango.

Grilled salmon, chicken dishes as well as salads, sushi and sashimi.

Thomas Sancerre Rose is made from 100% Pinot Noir.

Vines are 20-55 years old.
Terroir (soil type) is a blend of "Caillottes" and "Terre Blanche".
Everything is machine harvested (which means it is 100% destemmed).
50% Direct press + 50% Saignée (bled) with 12-24 hours of skin contact maceration.
The alcoholic fermentation is done in temperature controlled stainless steel tanks.
Right before bottling, the wine is fined with Bentonite (very light filtration with oenologic clay).

Tasting Notes:
Light, bright pink. Redcurrant, strawberry and chalk on the nose, with a touch of singed orange gaining strength with air. Dusty red fruit and citrus flavors are braced by tangy minerality, which adds lift and cut. Uncompromising in the best way, finishing with excellent clarity and echoes of lemon and orange zest.

Food pairings:
This is a very versatile wine. You can have it on its own in the summer time as an apéritif. But it is also excellent with Hors d'Oeuvres and terrines. It will compliment any white meat dish and poultry. You can also enjoy it with salmon or exotic food (slightly spicy sushi).

Monzio Compagnoni Franciacorta Saten Brut Millesimato

Color: very deep golden yellow, often, with very abundant froth and persistent perlage of great finesse.

Scent: it has a rich spectrum of scents, it is enveloping and almost greasy without any cloyingness; there are sensations of vanilla, biscuit, licorice, anise.
Taste: in perfect correspondence with the nose, even the taste is full, rich, generous, juicy; all well balanced by an acid base that allows the sweet sensations (of ripe fruit) to express themselves without tiring the palate

The name "Saten" means Silk.

The name "Franciacorta" comes from a phrase in the 1100-1200’s for tax exempt. The phrase is "Franzacurta”….referring to tax exempt status of some local towns in Lombardy, Italy. Franziacorta became a DOC in 1967 and was granted the DOCG status in 1995. There are 2000+ hectares (5,400 acres) total for the appellation with over 100 producers. Total production for the DOCG is around 550,000 cases. 

Monzio Compagnoni Franciacorta Saten Brut Millesimato

Color: very deep golden yellow, often, with very abundant froth and persistent perlage of great finesse.

Scent: it has a rich spectrum of scents, it is enveloping and almost greasy without any cloyingness; there are sensations of vanilla, biscuit, licorice, anise.
Taste: in perfect correspondence with the nose, even the taste is full, rich, generous, juicy; all well balanced by an acid base that allows the sweet sensations (of ripe fruit) to express themselves without tiring the palate

The name "Saten" means Silk.

The name "Franciacorta" comes from a phrase in the 1100-1200’s for tax exempt. The phrase is "Franzacurta”….referring to tax exempt status of some local towns in Lombardy, Italy. Franziacorta became a DOC in 1967 and was granted the DOCG status in 1995. There are 2000+ hectares (5,400 acres) total for the appellation with over 100 producers. Total production for the DOCG is around 550,000 cases. 

 Mordoree Cotes du Rhone Dame Rousse Rose is made from 40% Grenache, 35% Syrah, 15% Cinsault, 5% Carignan, 5% Mourvèdre

Color : rosé, slightly orange (mordorée colour).

Aromas : crystallized oranges and cherries, slightly aniseed.

Palate : very rounded, fresh and long finish.

Ageing potential : 2 to 3 years

Surface : 14 Ha. Yield : 45 Hl./Ha. Vineyard age : 20 years Terroir : clay / chalk,clay / limestone and sandy with pebble stones. Harvest : by hand. Vinification : vat bleeding, temperature control. Estate bottled.

Food pairing: cold meats and delicatessen, fowl, white meats, grilled lamb with Provence herbs, fish soup, fried fish, pastas, pizzas and all Asian dishes.

Review:

"This rosé appears so pretty in the glass with its watermelon hue and presents a refreshing summery nose. Find notes of watermelon slices and yellow peaches sprinkled with sea salt. Think of pairings similar to prosciutto-wrapped melon. This is a solid rosé to enjoy all summer long."

- Wine Enthusiast (May 2023), 91 pts

 Mordoree Cotes du Rhone Dame Rousse Rose is made from 40% Grenache, 35% Syrah, 15% Cinsault, 5% Carignan, 5% Mourvèdre

Color : rosé, slightly orange (mordorée colour).

Aromas : crystallized oranges and cherries, slightly aniseed.

Palate : very rounded, fresh and long finish.

Ageing potential : 2 to 3 years

Surface : 14 Ha. Yield : 45 Hl./Ha. Vineyard age : 20 years Terroir : clay / chalk,clay / limestone and sandy with pebble stones. Harvest : by hand. Vinification : vat bleeding, temperature control. Estate bottled.

Food pairing: cold meats and delicatessen, fowl, white meats, grilled lamb with Provence herbs, fish soup, fried fish, pastas, pizzas and all Asian dishes.

Mordoree La Remise Mordoree Rose is made from  Marselan 35% (Marselan is a cross between Cabernet Sauvignon and Grenache) , Merlot 35%  Syrah 15%,  Grenache 15%.

Color : light rose
Aromas : flower : roses, fruits : strawberry, red currant and citrus
Palate : mouthful, rich.
Best to drink 2 years.

Pairs well with white meats, Asian cuisine and excellent as an aperitif.

Mordoree Tavel Rose Dame Rousse is made from Grenache 60 %, Cinsault 10%, Syrah 10 %, Mourvèdre 10%, Clairette 5%, and  Bourboulenc 5%.

Nose : steady rose, brilliant and limpid.

Aromas : very complex with flowers, red and white fruits aromas.

Palate : rounded, full bodied with a long lasting aniseed and fruity finish.
Ageing potential : 4 to 6 years

Surface : 9 Ha. Yield : 44 Hl./Ha. Vineyard age : 40 years Terroir : Clay / chalk and sandy with pebble stones. Harvest : by hand Vinification : 100% destemming, cold maceration during 48 h., pneumatic pressing, fermentation at 18° C. Estate bottle

Food pairing: cold meat and delicatessen, poultry, white meats, grilled meats, fried fish, fish soup, pastas, pizzas and all Asian cuisine.

 Review:

Deeply concentrated and penetrating with blackberry and black cherry flavors, this pale ruby rosé offers the zesty fruit character that rosé lovers demand alongside an intensity and structure craved by red wine drinkers. A touch more spry than the producer's more richly concentrated La Reine des Bois, it's a delicately spiced, pepper-edged rosé that can be enjoyed year-round.

Wine Enthusiast 93 Points

Mordoree Tavel Rose Dame Rousse is made from Grenache 60 %, Cinsault 10%, Syrah 10 %, Mourvèdre 10%, Clairette 5%, and  Bourboulenc 5%.

Nose : steady rose, brilliant and limpid.

Aromas : very complex with flowers, red and white fruits aromas.

Palate : rounded, full bodied with a long lasting aniseed and fruity finish.
Ageing potential : 4 to 6 years

Surface : 9 Ha. Yield : 44 Hl./Ha. Vineyard age : 40 years Terroir : Clay / chalk and sandy with pebble stones. Harvest : by hand Vinification : 100% destemming, cold maceration during 48 h., pneumatic pressing, fermentation at 18° C. Estate bottle

Food pairing: cold meat and delicatessen, poultry, white meats, grilled meats, fried fish, fish soup, pastas, pizzas and all Asian cuisine.

Mordoree Tavel Rose Dame Rousse is made from Grenache 60 %, Cinsault 10%, Syrah 10 %, Mourvèdre 10%, Clairette 5%, and  Bourboulenc 5%.

Nose : steady rose, brilliant and limpid.

Aromas : very complex with flowers, red and white fruits aromas.

Palate : rounded, full bodied with a long lasting aniseed and fruity finish.
Ageing potential : 4 to 6 years

Surface : 9 Ha. Yield : 44 Hl./Ha. Vineyard age : 40 years Terroir : Clay / chalk and sandy with pebble stones. Harvest : by hand Vinification : 100% destemming, cold maceration during 48 h., pneumatic pressing, fermentation at 18° C. Estate bottle

Food pairing: cold meat and delicatessen, poultry, white meats, grilled meats, fried fish, fish soup, pastas, pizzas and all Asian cuisine.

 Roland Champion Champagne Brut Rose Grand Cru NV is the blend of 33% Chardonnay, 33% Pinot Meunier and 33% Pinot Noir.

The Champagne rose shows an orange salmon color coming from the red wine base. The pinot meunier brings red fruit aromas of strawberry and raspberry with hints of spices. The palate is juicy and harmonious with good depth and minerality. A delicate balance between Chardonnay, Pinot Meunier and Pinot Noir.
It is a blend of 93% White juice (made from 33% Chardonnay, 33% Pinot Meunier and 33% Pinot Noir) and 7% Pinot Noir red wine. The grapes used to produce the Coteaux Champenois red wine are coming from their vineyards near the Village of Verneuil.

 

Rubus Brut Rose is made from 60% Tempranillo, 40% Bobal.

The Rubus Project was created by Fran Kysela as a way to source & sell incredible wines at value prices. All wines in this international project are hand-selected by Fran Kysela. Rubus wines are fruit driven, true-to-type values that over deliver - a true representation of quality for the consumer at an excellent price.

Trouillard Comte Decrion Brut is made from 50% Pinot Meunier, 30% Pinot Noir, 20% Chardonnay.

The Comte Decrion is clear gold in color, offering fine and attractive bubbles. Elegant and fruit-diven. Supple, ample and well-balanced with good length and freshness.

This Champagne is ideal as an aperitif and throughout the meal.

Review:

Straw green color. Aromas and flavors of peach jam on toast, lemon marmalade, and praline with a supple, vibrant, effervescent, dry-yet-fruity medium-full body and a sleek, appealing, medium-long finish that shows accents of creme brulee and spiced citrus salad. A nutty, juicy, vanilla-kissed Champagne that is sure to please.

-Tastings.com 93 Points

Argot Starstruck Cabernet Sauvignon is made from 90% Cabernet Sauvignon, 10% Merlot (15-25 years old)

An explosive nose of Cabernet—singular only to the Napa Valley—introduces the 2019 Starstruck with classically elegant red and black Cabernet fruits, enhanced by notes of smoked sage and rosemary.  Red-fruits carry the mid-palate, dancing on a pillow of wonderfully sweet tannin and pie spice complexity.  As the wine transitions from the mid, acid emerges lifting Starstruck's massive palate into a warming finish that continues to reveal dark fruits and intriguing spice accents.  A gorgeous Cabernet that remains approachable, while its structure and earthy complexities keep bombast at bay.

Review:

  The 2019 Cabernet Sauvignon Starstruck has a classic Napa Valley Cabernet nose of crème de cassis, violets, lead pencil, and flowery incense. This carries to a medium-bodied, supple, nicely textured Cabernet with moderate tannins, terrific overall balance, and a great finish. It's ready to go and should keep for 10-12 years or more.

-Jeb Dunnuck 92 Points

Beliere Bugey-Cerdon  is made from 95% Gamay, 5% Poulsard (a local grape from Jura).

Spontaneous fermentation. An altogether preferable scenario to spontaneous combustion, and A LOT more fun to drink. This pink, semi-dry bubbly was made by spontaneous fermentation, otherwise known as methode ancestrale. Grapes are picked by hand (not just any grapes, these are the local Poulsard and Gamay grown on mountainous slopes in the shadow of the Alps), and fermented in chilled vats just reaching 5 or 6 degrees alcohol. The young and light wine is then bottled, along with its active yeast and considerable unfermented sugars. Under pressure of the cork, the wine continues to ferment, gaining a few degrees of alcohol but retaining a nice amount of sweetness. The bubbles, of course, are another result of fermentation under pressure. This one is so delicious and fun to drink, with a distinctly, well, grapy aroma and a fruitiness that calls out for celebration and jubilation. 
This is also wonderful served with chocolate cake! 
8% ABV.

Produced from the "Ancestral method" (also used to produce Clairette de Die): Low temperature fermentation starting in the tank, light filtration that leaves active yeast in the wine, bottling of the wine with fermentation continuing in the bottle ("spontaneous fermentation in the bottle"), retaining some sugar (40 gr/liter at the end). Made from 95% Gamay, 5% Poulsard (a local grape from Jura).

Review:

"Amber color. Aromas and flavors of cranberry juice, rose petal, cherry and kiwi, and red apple with a round, bright, effervescent, fruity medium-to-full body and a delightful, medium-long finish that shows nuances of cherry, cranberry, beeswax, and rose water. Concentrated fruit flavors, creamy bubbles, and well balanced acidity will make this a splendid pairing with charcuterie." - Beverage Testing -Institute (November 2022), 92 pts - Gold Medal

Chateau Rauzan-Segla is made from 54% Cabernet Sauvignon, 41% Merlot, 4% Petit Verdot, 1% Cabernet Franc.

Ségla is the second wine of the prestigious Château Rauzan Ségla and a Craft + Estate exclusive. The history of Château Rauzan-Ségla dates back to 1661 when Pierre de Rauzan acquired the estate. Rauzan-Ségla grew in reputation in a remarkable way and produced some of the most highly rated wines in Bordeaux. They delighted many well-known dignitaries, most notably Thomas Jefferson who came across this wine during his visit to Bordeaux in 1787, subsequently placing an order for several cases in 1790. Some decades later, the historic 1855 Bordeaux Classification ranked Château Rauzan-Ségla as a 2nd Growth. Today, the property is owned by the Wertheimer family of the fashion house Chanel and managed by Nicolas Audebert.

About half of the 126 acres (51 hectares) of vineyard are around the château, but there are additional parcels near Château Margaux and Brane-Cantenac. The vines are comprised of 54% Cabernet Sauvignon, 40% Merlot, 5% Petit Verdot and 1% Cabernet Franc, with an average vine age of 30 years and a vine density of 2,670 to 4,050 plants per acre (6,600 to 10,000 vines/ha). Soils at Rauzan-Ségla are composed of deep, fine gravel, which makes for natural irrigation.

More accessible than the first wine, the aim for Ségla is to produce a wine of extremely good quality and value reflecting all the elements of Margaux and giving a true insight to the quality of the Grand Vin. The estate puts the same amount of effort and care into the production of Ségla as it does the first wine, making it a true and authentic introduction to the château.

Review

This is a full-bodied wine, from one of the leading estates in Margaux. It is ripe with juicy blackberry and black-currant fruits. This fruit contrasts with the dark tannins and powerful structure. It is going to develop slowly and impressively to be ready to drink from 2025.

-Wine Enthusiast 95 Points

Colmant Brut Chardonnay is made from 100 percent Chardonnay (Franschhoek and Robertson). 
15% of the base wine has been barrel fermented.
Ageing: This wine spends a minimum of 45 months on the lees at a consistent temperature of 14C before degorgement.
Tasting: Delicate light gold color with a lime-green hue. The nose is fresh, lemony and floral with notes of green apple, followed by yeasty and biscuity aromas brought by the lengthy maturation on the lees. Very fine bead of bubbles with a persistent mousse. Opulent on the palate, this wine shows a harmonious balance between fresh zestiness, mineral complexity and a warm breadth of leesy creaminess. It promises to develop great texture over time. 
Drinking tips: Ideal with pan fried scallops or line fish "au beurre blanc", it is also the oyster's best friend and will enhance the flavors of parmesan, asparagus, artichokes, parma ham,… 

Reviews:

"The core of this wine, which subsequently spent 52 months on lees, comes from the 2015 vintage and shows the ageing potential for which Colmant bubblies are famous. Savoury, fresh and intense, with plenty of colour, added complexity from reserve material, notes of aniseed and citrus peel and a fine, refreshing finish. 2021-25"

- Tim Atkin (South Africa 2020 Report), 93 pts

There are many alternatives to Champagne, and South Africa is no exception with some fine “Method Cap Classique.” Jean-Philippe Colmant hired winemaker Nicolas Follet to create a small range of impressive sparkling wines; they eschew malolactic fermentation and practice extended lees aging.- NM" 

- eRobertParker.com (Issue #196, August 2011), 92 pts

A blanc de blanc with the heart of Chardonnay, the NV Brut Chardonnay has focused citrus tones on the nose with notes of yellow pear and green apple. The oak is subtle here, with a solid beam of acidity through the mid-palate. The wine is thoughtful and focused, and the finish leaves my mouth watering; there is serious acidity here, and they are doing it right. Colmant is the little guy doing some really great things— quietly focused wines, with serious aging potential. Keep this small producer on your radar. I expect nothing but great things in years to come from JP Colmant and his new winemaker, Paul Gerber, formerly of Le Lude. - Anthony Mueller"

- Robert Parker's Wine Advocate (Issue #245, October 2019), 91+ pts

"Our favorite Colmant sparkler by far, this blanc de blancs would easily pass for good quality Champagne. It’s pale straw with a fine bead with biscuit and lemon aromas. Very flavorful and complex on a rich palate with a persistent finish, it’s 100% Chardonnay, 15% barrel fermented, and spends 4 years on the lees. RS 5 g/L"
- I-WineReview  92 pts

IMPORTER SALE!

Blend: Colmant Brut Reserve NV is a blend of Pinot Noir 52%, Chardonnay 48% (Franschhoek, Robertson, Elgin, Somerset-West and Stellenbosch). 10% of the blend is made of reserve wine from the previous vintage and 12% of the base wine is barrel fermented.
Ageing: 28 months minimum on the lees at steady 13°C temperature.
Tasting: A subtle pale gold color with a very clean and elegant nose. The aroma has a gentle spicy toastiness with a lemon / yeasty perfume followed by more mature fruit. Plenty of freshness on the palate, with a good acidity which perfectly balances the yeasty depth, bready flavors and ample structure. Long smooth finish. Will develop nicely over the years.
Drinking tips: Divine as an aperitif and loyal as a party buddy, it also goes perfectly with oysters, sushis or any delicate seafood.

Reviews:

"The Brut Reserve (disgorged April 2018) was 10% fermented in French oak barrel and includes 20% reserve vintages. It spent 30 months on the lees. The well-defined, focused nose features bright citrus lemon and hints of baked bread. The palate is well balanced with a taut, crisp, citric entry. This is vivacious, very pretty and graced with lovely apricot hints on the finish. A superb MCC from Colmant. - Neal Martin"

- Vinous (August 28th 2018), 91 pts

"Fresh with leesy notes, a fine mousse and delicate palate of minerals and green citrus zest, this is a first class New World sparkler. It’s rich enough to enjoy on its own or with white meats. It’s a 50/50 blend of Pinot Noir and Chardonnay aged on the lees for 30 months and 25% reserve wines from earlier vintages."
-International Wine Review, 91 pts

"Disgorged February 2011, the Non-vintage Brut Reserve is a blend of 52% Pinot Noir and 48% Chardonnay based on the 2008 vintages blended with reserve wines from 2007 and 2006 (25% of the blend), aged for 30 months on the lees. It has a very fine pettillance in the glass. The nose is very well defined with crushed stone, oyster shell and the subtle perfume of fine lees coming through with aeration. The palate is very crisp and lively on the entry with vibrant acidity, a citrus thread from start to finish, and though it is not a powerful Cap Classique, it is wonderfully poised with great persistence on the fresh lime and Granny Smith-tinged finish.
There are many alternatives to Champagne, and South Africa is no exception with some fine “Method Cap Classique.” Jean-Philippe Colmant hired winemaker Nicolas Follet to create a small range of impressive sparkling wines; they eschew malolactic fermentation and practice extended lees aging."
- eRobertParker.com  , 92 pts

Our Hunt for Colmant:

 It was day 6 in South Africa and we find ourselves outside of beautiful Cape Town, in the country near the Riebeek Kasteel area in Swartland.  Let's talk a little about my accommodations before I tell you about this amazing bubbly. We arrive at the one and only hotel in Riebeek to find out that there were not enough rooms open for all. 

We reached out to our contact at Riebeek cellars, who we will refer to as "Point Break" from now on. For those of you that have not seen the movie Point Break, this guy looked and sounded like a blonde Keanu Reeves with a Dutch accent. Anyway, Point Break tells me that they have secured a small bed and breakfast that we could use for the overflow. Sounded nice...so I opted for it. 

Upon arrival, the home was beautiful on the outside with a catchy French name, "Shades of Provence". After Point Break fiddled with the skeleton key and lock for a good 35 minutes in the rain, we finally get to see the inside of our new home. The door opened straight into the kitchen where the first thing I noticed was the mouse sh*t all over the place. It was winter there and the mice were trying to stay warm, I'm sure. Little did they know this damn place had no heat.

Besides myself and my fiancee Sylvia, there were 3 other people and a total of four rooms. At this point I knew I better drag both our suitcases up those steps and get to the best room before everyone else. At stroke-causing speed, I skipped up the steps nearly knocking Point Break on his back and went through the rooms. I settled for a nice corner room with the least amount of dirt on the concrete floor and with only one or two spider webs on the wrought iron bed post.

For dinner that night, we returned to the hotel restaurant to join the rest of our group. The 5 of us forced to stay in the bed and breakfast were in a far worse mood than everyone around us. Arriving late, we sat at the end of the dinning table and hoarded as much wine as possible to try and drink ourselves to a point where we could sleep in that disgrace of a French country side home that Point Break secured for us.

 That night, I slept with the lights on, all my clothes on, and on top of the sheets hoping to avoid spider bites. I awoke that morning to Sylvia standing over me holding what looked like a hot water knob off of the shower. "It wasn't even attached.", she said. Sylvia proceeds to take a "whore-bath" in the sink using her own packed sock as a wash cloth. It was the only thing she deemed clean. To top it off, in a brief moment of happiness she finds a hair dryer in a cabinet. She pulled it out in triumph only to realize that there was a used condom stuck to the side of it. Obviously, this is her last trip to South Africa.